I was thinking yesterday-there are a lot of things that really drive me crazy on Facebook-things that people should never do, if they want to uphold their dignity and/or credibility in my book.
1. iF u TyPe LyK dIs, U WiLL b DeLeTeD 4M mY fRiEnDs LiSt.
Faster than it took me to type that sentence. Which was a solid 1.3 minutes that I'll never get back. Really? Who wants to take the time to capatalize every other letter? Unless, you're not taking the time to spell out real words like "you" and "be". Then I guess it evens out. Oh wait...no, it doesn't.
P.S. If you're over the age of 13, just forget ever earning my Facebook respect. We can talk about real life respect later, when I no longer have to read uR uPdAtEs.
2.If you have 124 profile pictures, and 122 of them are pictures of yourself taken in the mirror, or upclose with your camera phone, you probably suffer from a not so rare, and very real disorder-Facebook Vanity.
This is different than regular old vanity, my friends. Facebook Vanity consists of taking a picture of yourself every time you look semi-decent, having a new profile picture at least 5 times a week, and obsessively checking for that blessed little red notification to let you know somebody "liked" your photo, or commented on how hawt you are.
This isn't MySpace, ya'll.
3. It's really great that you love your significant other sooo much, but I don't need to hear about it every day. Nor do I want to.
Don't get me wrong, I think the occasional brag about your husband/boyfriend/wife is cute..a bit of public love every once in a while isn't a bad thing. In fact, I hope that my future husband will publicly announce how awesome he thinks I am 3 times a year. But when literally every status update is about how perfect they are, you're getting carried away. This is social networking. Not your diary.
4. "Liking" every status update and picture that you, yourself, post is crazy.
We know you like it. You wouldn't have posted it otherwise. Enough said.
I think that is sufficient for now.
But for more Facebook blunders, go to failbook.com. You're welcome.