I've been sitting at my desk for the better part of an hour now, unable to move or to focus on invoices, the company website being down, the credit apps I have to process..
All I can think of centers around this thought:
I hate being an adult.
I want to go back-
to not worrying about the bills I can't pay.
to being blissfully ignorant of all of the lies and selfishness swirling all around me.
to sleeping on my parents floor when I'm scared at night.
When you're a kid these real life things don't matter. Your friends are always there for you, because you have no real problems that they're scared to face, so they don't.
People don't leave you. People don't USE you. Your parents put food on the table. You actually have a summer vacation. (that last one has been driving me nuts lately.)
I know that in reality, I love my independence too much to really go back to the way things were 10-15 years ago.
But after an awful interaction with a certain someone yesterday, I'm feeling quite alone and vulnerable, and just wish I could wake up in my old bed, to the comfort of my old house. I'd even take back having to complete the dreaded chore list before I could call my friends to play.
I can't help but remember the wise words of my Laurel leader (the fabulous Colleen Coleman) that I often think of when life sucks...
"Always think a happy thought, even if it's just 'tomorrow will be better.'"
And it will be.