Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Yet another divorce post..

Yes, I talk about my divorce a lot, but it's my blog, which means it's my thoughts, which means I'm going to talk about my divorce.

One of the hardest parts of this whole ordeal has been people coming to me and saying,

"I knew it wouldn't work..you two never seemed right for each other."
(or some variable of this with specific examples of why we were doomed from the start.)

to which I reply,

"Why didn't you tell me??"

Of course everybody's response is that I wouldn't have listened, I would have been angry and gotten married anyway.

But the thing that gets to me the most is that I think I would have listened...especially if my parents had been the ones to say it.

I had doubts when we were dating, engaged...I saw red flags that scared me but that I figured would work themselves out...and they never did.
The thing is, when I had those feelings, people would just calm my nerves by telling me how cute and happy we looked together...the same people who now tell me they never thought that our relationship was a good idea.

In hindsight, I don't know if I ever thought it was either.

Was I happy? While we were dating, yes, usually.

But I let myself ignore the fact that happiness isn't going to last in a relationship where communication, selflessness, and humility don't have priority.

Don't get me wrong-I know those things are not only hard to obtain, but to continually practice. I'll be the first to tell you that I failed miserably at them.

But that is why marriage is hard. That is why marriage is a sacrifice. And all I can do now is hope and pray that my next relationship or marriage will be one where both parties are committed enough to exercise those things.

And if not, then I will try again. And again. And again. Until I get the true happiness that I know we all deserve with that special person that will love us for who we are-so much that they won't let us go.

And I can't wait for it.


  1. I know I always post on this specific posts of yours and you probably think i'm a weirdo, but its just cause I feel like I know how you feel. Im amazed with how well you seem to be doing and how positive you are. I created a blog when I was going through everything that was only about all that junk. Nobody has ever read it im sure and I'd like to keep it that way honestly.. haha I didn't hide a thing, anyways... i just think you awesome. Hang in there!
    Sendin luvs :)

  2. That is a really hard thing to go through and I can't believe people would think it would make you feel better to say something that basically means 'I knew it all along..'. Rude! You're right it's your blog and this is where you can vent so let it out :) Hope things get easier in this rough time.