Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Too tired to play pretend..

I'm sick of blogging.

I do this every few months-realize that nobody reads my blog and that my words are wasted...
Get sick of the popularity contest that unfortunately is blogging.

Because guess what?
I'm not that girl.

I'm not going to post pictures of my daily outfit, because I'd rather wear a t-shirt and jeans every day of the week,
and don't really care about losing a piece of my soul 37 times a day while I take picture after picture.
(Unless those pieces of my soul were being placed in horcruxes, but they're not, so forget that.)

I'm not going to pretend my life is fabulous and full of cool stories to share with everybody.
Because it's not. And if it was, I'd be too busy enjoying it to share it with the world wide web anyway.

Plus, the only thing that really goes through my mind is my divorce, my marriage, and my insecurities caused by them.
And let's be honest, I should just save that for my counselor,
or I'd have to change the name of this blog to heidihateslife instead of happilyheidi.

It's possible I'm just depressed and will be back next week.
In fact, I'd say it's probable.

But as of right now, I'm out.
Catch you on the flip side.


  1. Oh Heidi, how I love you. You seriously, know whats up. Us Arizona girls keep it real! =] Hah, We really ought to hang out. Deal? Deal. I hope you keep blogging. I DO read it, every time you post. =] just saying.

    Love, Olive.

  2. I feel this way ALL. THE. TIME. I had something really mean happen to me yesterday and it really put me down in the dumps. I thought, "I don't want to give people the satisfaction of letting me down... the odds that someone will walk up to my face in real life and say, 'EW' is really slim compared to how comfortable people are hiding behind anonymity"
    I thought, why the heck am I putting myself out there when I can't take the criticism?? But.... then the positives are still there and I can't seem to get myself off blogspot. I hope you stay... sometimes I don't comment but I read your blog!

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  4. Heidihateslife, it has a nice ring to it :D

    Everyone hits those stupid road bumps. I've hit them and my quarter life-crisis is currently in play so don't be too down on yourself. Some people just handle it better and less extreme.

  5. I like to read your blog, Heidi. It seems you are not alone. Many of us feel or have felt lost, confused, depressed, and lonely. I am going through a confusing time as well. I think we will always have those times, and it's then that we really need friends, but often feel we have none because others are too busy or whatever other excuses come along. I know I've said this before, but we really should go for ice cream, or fro yo and chat and catch up. My number is 480-707-3154. Seriously, I won't think you're weird if you really call or text me to hang out. =)

  6. Girrrl, I know what you mean. Everyone says "I blog for myself, I don't care about how many people read it," ....but no one means it. I've said it many-a-time myself. But the fact of the matter is, if you have a blog, you want an audience. There's no shame in that. However, 0 comments doesn't mean no one reads it! Most people are just lame and don't comment (like me). Do what you gotta do, but try not to let the "cute litte Mormon girl, vintage-everything, la la la, fashion/food/decorating" blogs get you down. I used to feel like I had to compete with those people, but that will just never be me. It makes me a little sad sometimes, like I'm being left out of the "cool" group, but whatevs. Being a reject is waaaay more fun anyway.

    P.s., I know you know who I am...and that I know who you are....but I think it's cool that we've become sorta like online friends by following each other on Tumblr (and I confess....I stalk your blog now.) We have a lot in common! It's crazy. Anyway, I talk too much, so the end.

  7. Oh hey Heidi don't stop blogging! The thing that I love about you is you don't pretend. You say it how it is and that is very refreshing. Love you dear and I'm sorry things are going bad right now.

  8. Heidi, I follow your blog. AKA, don't think you don't have an audience. Don't think that I don't absolutely love coming on here to read it.

    I'm glad this was a real post. I'm tired of the family photos and the blah blah blah married blogs (Okay, I have a married blog, but notice what I do post vs. what I don't). I want my blog to show how HARD marriage really is. I want blogs to show REAL PEOPLE. I wish I could be as straightforward in my public posts as I am in my hidden ones. It's no defect on us; the world just can't be trusted with it anymore.