Monday, August 1, 2011


First things first-I've noticed a few new followers, and I just wanted to say hi! New followers are always greatly appreciated and welcomed. I wish you all cupcakes and sunshine.

Ok, now on to the real bid-nez. (that's my gangster way of saying business. I'm from the hood, in case you didn't know.)

I'd like to preface my little rant today with a picture that made me giggle because, quite frankly, although it's ridiculous, the concept is essentially true.
(click on the picture to read the fine print..)

Holy crap on a cracker, where do I even begin?

I guess I've always been a bit of a realist. I don't romanticize things as much as the average girl. Sure, I may be a tad bit too cynical for my own good, especially after my vast experience in the "getting hurt" area..but FRICK.

I've learned a lot through those experiences, and I can tell you that one of the biggest problems that exists in the dating/relationship field is exemplified by that picture.

We wonder why we can't find relationships that last...why the perfect partner never comes along...And I am here to tell you that it is because of lists like that.

You want somebody that will let you put a check mark next to every cute little thing on that check list? Then marry a woman.

Here is what happens:
You get in a relationship. It is great. You are so lovey and happy, and do everything perfectly.

Then reality sets in. And guess what?

Your boyfriend isn't going to be perfect 100% of the time.
Your husband is going to say really stupid things when you're crying, because he's thinking logically, when you want him to be thinking emotionally with you.
It may come out that he really doesn't like to cuddle..and he was just humoring you during your courtship.

Your wife isn't going to look pretty first thing in the morning, and she's probably an ugly crier.
She's not going to want you-know-what all the time.
Eventually, she's going to get pregnant, and be moody, and get..dare I say it? STRETCH MARKS.

But in my imperfect and humble opinion, this is what makes relationships great...
The fact that nobody is perfect. Nobody is going to do exactly what you want, exactly when you want it. Men can not read minds, and women try too hard to.
We piss each other off and then make up. He's not loving enough, and she lays on the love more than he can handle sometimes.

But that is what is going to make us grow. Not a perfect checklist.

Obviously, I'm not the expert on relationships. I mean, hi, I'm divorced.
And maybe some people's relationships are as perfect as they make it out to be on their blog.. (ha. yeah right.)

My point is, ladies and gents, throw away your list of Mr./Ms. Perfect, because no relationship can be founded on that.

Because those things go away, and at the end of the day, you still have to love each other, not despite imperfections, but because of them.

Sounds better than dying alone, doesn't it? :)


  1. I wanted to scream halleluiah when reading this! Especially the logical thinking when you want him to be emotional! You are so right though in this post, at the end of the day you just have to look and see how blessed you are even with all the "flaws" you each have. It's what makes your life fun and interesting! Things are always moving and quite honestly, changing. This post is exactly what I needed today, thanks Heidi! Love ya :)

  2. Love it! Nice work. Oh by the way, I'm Sara, I don't think we were ever formally introduced. :)

  3. Sydney Brake DonaldsonAugust 1, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    You are wise beyond your years, my friend. Couldn't agree more.

    Things I've learned in my short year and a half of marriage: tell your husband EXACTLY what you want. They don't pick up on hints. I tell my husband straight up what I want for my birthday. Rather than saying, "Oh wow I LOVE that dress!" I say, "Can you buy me that dress sometime?"

    Same thing with things I want to get done. Rather than saying, "Gee, the garbage is getting pretty full..." say, "Love, will you take the trash out right now?" (I usually add in "the smell makes me nauseous" and he does it even faster.)

    Women, be straight up with your man! No beating around the bush! You CAN get the things you want/need if you tell your husband flat-out without the frills. I know it sucks, but I'd rather have a new dress or the trash taken out than have him figure me out.

    Also, men are problem solvers. When you tell them about a problem, they will try to solve it. Before I tell him about my day, I always say, "Darling, I'm stressed and this happened today. I'm not looking for a solution, but I'd like for you to just listen."

  4. Wow, I've been married for 23 years and have barely figured this out. The only thing I would add is... really nothing, you said it all. TB

  5. You are amazing woman! I absolutely adore & admire everything you've said. Why? Because it is hilariously true. How I know this?! Because like you, I've been there, done that. Ugh.. D I V O R C E. blow me.
    You really do learn so much. I am super proud of you woman & I am proud to call you one of my newest & closest friends.
    It sucks but it is true. It all. Lol, it was perfect at first. Especially when we were just friends. It still is pretty amazing, because we are still best friends in our marriage. But now we get frustrated with each other once in a while, he's horny all the time :p haha & us woman, for some STUPID reason & I HATE this, we just kinda are like, ugh... after a while & don't really feel like doing it anymore & it's REALLY SAD! hahaha, i wish they invented a horny pill. because i LOOOOOVE & am super attracted to my husband, but am totally fine with not doing it hardly anymore. ...& it's only been 2months! (since we've been hitched)
    yikes! maybe that's because we have a kiddo.. Lol
    Anyway, but I certainly have been through a lot & learned A Lot. Totally grateful for that experience. Guess what, i totally thought all the time, "I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITH A BILLION CATS SURROUNDING ME!" but I'm not :p
    because that amazing guy came along & loves me despite every imperfection that I have.
    & the 2nd time around will be sooo much better because you learned from the first time :)
    & if worse comes to worse... which wouldn't be all that bad :p
    there's that guy that'll be waiting for you when ya'll are both 30 ;D

    Love You Woman!