Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Workin on my fitness. (again)

I don't know why, but 22 feels much older than 21.

21 still sounds young to me. It sounds more carefree and fun. 22 just sounds like I need to start growing up or something. And yeah right, like that's going to happen!

But I've been thinking a lot about things I do want to change this year to help me be happier with my life and who I am.

The first and foremost things is the one thing I always say I'm going to work on.

I need to get back to my pre wedding/divorce weight.

I want to feel cute again-and I don't mean my face. Cause come on, I love my face. But it's time to feel good about all of me.

So I got my two year pass to 24 Hour Fitness yesterday. Here's my game plan:
Monday: Kickboxing/Amped Abs at 5:30 pm
Tuesday: Light cardio/weight training
Wednesday: Kickboxing/Amped Abs at 5:30
Thursday: Light cardio/weight training
Friday: Zumba at 4:30 PM
Saturday: Body Pump at 9 AM on days I'm not at the salon
Keep me motivated, people!
Seriously, I want texts, tweets, comments, carrier pigeons...
Whatever you can do to get my butt to the gym.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Seriously, it isn't even my birthday yet and I've had so much fun and been so blessed this weekend!

On Friday, my cousins/best friends Kelsey and Heather came over to give me my gifts. We baked rainbow cupcakes, and watched 3 consecutive hours of The Big Bang Theory. That is a good night in my book, my friends. The girls gave me a super cute cupcake necklace, and a tray to eat in bed that I wanted...Mostly because I love to paint my nails in bed. It's a nightly habit. I figured using that will help me be less likely to spill on my sheets. :)

On Saturday, my group of friends got together for a birthday get together that my awesome friend, Erica, planned. We went on a picture scavenger hunt, swam, watched lots of YouTube videos, ate lots of junk food, cake, and consumed amazing amounts of caffeine. Here are some pictures from our scavenger hunt...(this is just my team..not the whole group)

Today, my family had my Sunday birthday dinner. My brother and sister in law and Marley made me a cute candy bar poster and bought me a wallet that I wanted. Jo also made me a giant cupcake

Maybe 22 won't be so bad after all...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Happy birthday to me! (LONG post.)

I'm turning 22 tomorrow! So to commemorate the occasion, I thought I'd share 22 of the most important facts there are to know about me.

1. I love cupcakes. I don't just mean in the way that everybody loves cupcakes..I mean, I'm completely obsesssed with them. If I could have a cupcake and a Dr. Pepper for every meal, I would. But then I would be morbidly obese. And I would be sad.

{ps. is it just me, or are my fingers creepily long in this picture? yikes.}

2. I'm adopted. Which I'm pretty sure makes me exponentially cooler than everybody else...totally kidding. But I often think about my birthmother this time of year, and wonder if she's thinking of me too. Luckily, I love my parents more than anything in this world and am so grateful for them.

3. I love singing in the car. So much that I will drive with no destination just to turn on my music and sing. While singing in the car, I'm known to use my cell phone or iPod as a fake microphone-I do this when I'm with people and alone.

4. My biggest fear is chickens, or any bird for that matter. But mostly chickens. My first biggest fear my whole life was divorce, but hey, I got past that, so maybe somebody should lock me in a chicken coop.

5. My dream car is a VW. Any kind will do, but convertible is preferred. I used to have one, and it was the happiest time of my life..

6. I am a water bottle brat. I don't drink out of cups, and if I'm forced to, I am exactly like thst girl from the movie Signs that leaves a good two inches of water left in the cup. It's a little bit ridiculous. I never leave the house without a bottle. Example: This lovely picture of my friend Sydney's wedding...Such a sweet picture until you notice what's in my hand. But it captures the real me, so it's all good.

7. Music is my religion. Mormonism? That's just a hobby. (totally kidding.) But seriously, I'm completely obsessed with good music, making music, and lyrics. I've also played the piano for 16ish years.

8. I talk too much and am far too open to people about my personal life. In case you hadn't caught on to that already..

9. I want to go back to school someday soon to become a cosmetology school instructor.

10. I honestly have the worst memory IN THE WORLD. You can literally tell me something, and 5 minutes later, I won't remember. I compare myself to Dory from Finding Nemo, and that comparison is in no way an exaggeration.

11. My dream in life is to be a hip hop dancer...Sadly, I have no dancing abilities at all. Somebody teach me?

12. I really don't believe in all that natural crap. If I'm sick, give me some freaking drugs.

13. There are three actresses I really can't stand-Angelina Jolie, Anne Hathaway, and Scarlett Johannsen. (I call them Angelina Jo-ugly, Anne Hathagay, and Scarlett Johooker.)

14. My sense of humor is very wrong and insenstive. I've been known to make "that's what she said" jokes more than the average human being.

15. That being said, Hot Rod is my all time favorite movie and I can quote every word.

16. I. Love. Voting. I don't even care about this issues so much, I just love to freaking VOTE.

17. I have a hard time saying no to anybody. I also feel guilty very easily, and tend to get sad about things that are out of my control. I once started crying in an Ihop because an old lady was eating dinner alone and I thought she was lonely. I made my exhusband buy her dinner.

18. My dream in life is to go to Africa and work in an orphanage or something. And hold a monkey.

19. Family and friends mean more to me than anything else. Some of my family are my best friends.

20. I have more male friends than female friends. I think it's because I don't do well with clingy people, or drama. Oh hi-that's 80% of the girls I know, probably including myself.

21. I tend to get very cocky about my piano playing and hair styling skills. But hey, if you've got it, flaunt it. I gotta have something going for me!

22. My cell phone has been attached to my hand since I was 16..Pretty sure I need cell phone rehab.

That's all! Not going to lie, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be to come up with all of that. But there you have it-the essentials of me.

Hope you enjoy my birthday as much as I will :)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Well, that didn't last long..

Ok, maybe I slightly overreacted. I tend to do that on days when my anxiety peaks.

Yesterday, I was feeling very down about myself. I've been having difficulty lately recognizing any self worth.

When I went to see my counselor last night, I didn't tell him that I'd spent the day putting myself down. I have a hard time expressing in person to anybody that I'm feeling down-I've always been the perky, happy one and I feel like people expect that of me, and generally I don't mind.

Anyway, I'll get to the point. Without him knowing how I'd spent my day, he proceeded to tell me that he really enjoys my personality-that I have a way about me that invites people in, makes them feel comfortable, and helps dispell the lie in their head that they are worthless. He then said that is one of the greatest gifts one could give.

Hearing somebody else acknowledge a positive trait of mine without me having to seek out said acknowledgement really lifted my spirits, and instilled a little bit of the worth I've been seeking.

We also talked about the same thing we spend most of our time talking about-how I need to learn to set boundaries in my life. I recognized that one of the liabilities of being the kind of person that people feel they can open up to easily, is that once they've attached on to me, I feel bad setting the boundaries that are needed in any relationship. This has been happening quite frequently in my life lately, and it's been very draining. So my homework is to be able to establish limits in those relationships, because the lack of them is a huge cause of my anxiety.

And although it sounds ridiculous to talk about needing boundaries on a blog, I think that this is where I'll start.

Because I do need to recognize that it's ok if I don't blog every day. It's ok to be myself and not get dragged into trying to fit in. Because like Amy said in her comment on my last post, it is way more fun to be a reject. And I like who I am.

So, I apologize for the rant. Thank you for your kind words. And I should be back to my normal self now-except I'm not just going to blog because I feel like I have to. I'll only blog when I actually have something to say. (Which is frequently-I talk way too much.)

Ok the end.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Too tired to play pretend..

I'm sick of blogging.

I do this every few months-realize that nobody reads my blog and that my words are wasted...
Get sick of the popularity contest that unfortunately is blogging.

Because guess what?
I'm not that girl.

I'm not going to post pictures of my daily outfit, because I'd rather wear a t-shirt and jeans every day of the week,
and don't really care about losing a piece of my soul 37 times a day while I take picture after picture.
(Unless those pieces of my soul were being placed in horcruxes, but they're not, so forget that.)

I'm not going to pretend my life is fabulous and full of cool stories to share with everybody.
Because it's not. And if it was, I'd be too busy enjoying it to share it with the world wide web anyway.

Plus, the only thing that really goes through my mind is my divorce, my marriage, and my insecurities caused by them.
And let's be honest, I should just save that for my counselor,
or I'd have to change the name of this blog to heidihateslife instead of happilyheidi.

It's possible I'm just depressed and will be back next week.
In fact, I'd say it's probable.

But as of right now, I'm out.
Catch you on the flip side.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Birthday Week!

Ok, it's not techincally the week of my birthday, but it's in 8 DAYS, people!

Birthdays are my favorite thing about life. I firmly believe that they should be celebrated to the fullest extent. Which is why I took the actual day off of work and am spending the two weekends prior celebrating... :)

This past Saturday, my friend Mallory kicked off the birthday celebrations by taking me out to Pizza Mart, and then taking me to Build A Bear! I've always wanted to go.

His name is Rupert..after Rupert Grint. Duh.

Mallory also bought me the Team Rod shirt I've always wanted from my favorite movie, Hot Rod!

It was a fabulous way to kick off the celebrating.

And honestly, my last two birthdays were the worst EVER. So this one better rock.

{Also, happy birthday to the best sister in law ever-Jolene!}

Friday, July 15, 2011

Harry Potter!

Last night, I put on my Team Voldemort shirt, and at 7 o'clock, watched the last Harry Potter movie.

{for the record, I'm not really Team Voldemort. It's a reference from The Office.}

And now I am in mourning.

Seriously, call me nerdy, but this series was my childhood.

I started reading the books in third grade. I was the epitome of a bookworm. I spent every recess in elementary school in the library- I despised getting dirty and playing in the sand. (still do.) All I wanted was to help the librarian and read books.

Harry Potter was the first series I fell in love with.(besides the Babysitters Club. But let's be honest, those don't count.)
When the movies started, I was the same age as the characters. And in a crazy way, I feel like I know them.

So the movie last night felt very much like the ending of an era.

And it was AMAZING. I could see it a million more times.

And let me just end by saying that in my opinion, Rupert Grint is one hot man, and I absolutely adore him as Ron.

Oh, and on the way home, I stopped for gas and locked my keys {and my spare} in my car, and was up till 2 waiting for a locksmith.

The fun just never ends around here...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Marley & Me. (not the movie)

I just found these picture of me and my adorable niece Marley,and they make me so happy!

Seriously, she is so freaking cute.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Music Monday

It's Music Monday! But I'm too lazy to put the picture, here you go, my new favorite song. It is pure genius.

{Panic! at the Disco and fun.}

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Monsoon Season

You know the expression-when it rains, it pours.

I feel like monsoon season hasn't just hit the valley, but that it's taken it's toll on my life recently too. (metaphorically, of course.)

Of course I couldn't just go to the emergency room and have those bills to pay...

My car had to completely break down too..leaving me with a mile walk home in the sweltering heat, and quarter size blisters on both feet. Not to mention a large bill I can't pay.

And then I had to be told how awesome I'm NOT doing at work, as if I didn't already know and feel terrible about it.

It has not been an easy weekend. But in an effort to keep my blog from being a cryfest (and to maybe make myself feel better too), I'll leave with a few things I'm grateful for:

I'm grateful for having a car that is able to break down in the first place. Some people don't have the luxury of owning a vehicle, and I didn't realize how much I take it for granted.

I'm grateful for amazing parents, who help me when times are tough. (promise I'll pay you back..)

I'm grateful for meeting new friends that are pretty much super awesome.

I'm grateful for my comfortable bed, and the 30+ hours of sleep I got this weekend-I'm definitely a sleep addict.

and I'm grateful that my two very best friends, Kelsey and Heather, are finally back in town, restoring a huge amount of joy in my life.

Hope you had a good weekend:)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

When you're going through a divorce, you don't really stop to think about the inevitable-

You're going to have to start dating again.

And maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe some people look forward to redoing that part of life..

But I'm dreading it.

Don't get me wrong-I enjoy being asked out on dates. I like getting to know new guys, and being in relationships.

But the whole thing gives me anxiety. I sit there before a date and have a panic attack.

What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't look cute?
What if he DOES like me and I don't like him? I can't let him down..

I freak myself out over these ridiculous things, that really don't matter on a first date, when I should just focus on enjoying myself and getting to know the guy.

Point is, I have a date tomorrow. And I might be excited. Wish me luck.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th!

Well, this is how I spent my fourth of July eve...

Apparently Urgent Care didn't think they were equipped enough to deal with my excruciating abdominal pain, so they sent me to the E.R.

After a urine sample, blood test, x-ray, and a nasty IV in my arm, they gave me a few bottles of drugs and sent me home. I probably wouldn't have survived without Mallory there to take care of me, seeing as my whole entire family is out of town.

So I was awake until 4 last night, curled up in a bawl crying with pain. Which for some reason didn't stop me from going to Sprinkles and buying myself a cupcake today.

But as for the 4th of July, I'm thinking that will be the extent of my activites.

Hope your fourth is much more entertaining than mine.