Thursday, September 22, 2011

Surprise!

I rarely blog about the day to day happenings in my life. So surprise! I'm going to. Right now. 
Meet Erica.

 I first met Erica , on July 4th this year after her husband Brad's sister invited me to come celebrate the day with their group of friends.

I don't know how it happened, but we became really good friends, really quickly.
Maybe it's because she's also been divorced, and let's be honest, I feel a different connection with fellow divorcees. 
Or maybe it's because we're both awesome.
Point is, I've gotten quite close to her and her husband Brad. (And this is unrelated, but they have the cutest kid in the world.)

They planned me an awesome birthday party.
I spend at least one night a week laying on their couch watching movies, drinking Rockstars, and sharing my most recent crazy dating stories.

So when Erica got in a bad accident, totaling her car, and landing in the ICU, two weeks before her birthday, I was very sad.
And when our friend Tanner suggested we throw her a surprise welcome home/get well/birthday party, no wasn't an option.

So...long story not really short, we did. And it was awesome.
Friday night, I colored and cut Erica's hair and we bought her a new dress for her birthday date with Brad...While they were gone, I "babysat."
Ok, I really did baby sit. But mainly, it was just a ploy for them to be gone so that Tanner could come over and "help" decorate while we waited for the friends to come.

She was quite surprised, and all in all, I'd say it was a success. 


I made these awesome smores cupcakes, that  I'm extremely proud of:


And we played a game and spent hours entertaining ourselves. The group is quite good at that.

(This picture was taken at the end of the night after a few people had filtered out. These are pretty much the regulars. Minus the bag of Doritos. He never comes to anything. Party pooper.)

So, that was my Saturday night! I'm so grateful for good friends!

(PS. Shameless bragging-but go check out Erica's blog. She's pretty much the most talented artist I know. The Disney mural she did? freaking amazes me every time. If you need anything painted, she's the person to call.)

The end!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What Not To Say

Lately I've had a couple of conversations with some friends that left me thinking.

When something sad or tragic happens, there are things people say with the intention of helping, or sounding sympathetic. However, a lot of these phrases are more likely to hurt than help. Since the divorce, I've been on the receiving end of several of these comments. So I'm here to express my opinion on what NOT to say. Unless of course, your intent is to offend. Then throw these bad boys out every chance you get.


When somebody goes through a bad break up/divorce:


#1: "You deserve better than him/her anyway."

Ok, maybe it's true. Maybe they DO deserve better.
I'm sure people say this as a form of a compliment, or perhaps to instill hope that something better will come along.

Guess what though? You might as well be pouring salt in the wound.

When that statement falls on the ears of somebody who is freshly hurt, vulnerable, emotional, and more than likely retaining feelings for the ex, it comes across as an insult along the lines of:

"Your ex sucks and doesn't deserve you."

And let's face it nobody wants to hear that about somebody they were very recently in a relationship with, whether they don't deserve you or not.

#2: "Oh, your ex is definitely gay."

EXCUSE ME?! Now, I'm not saying whether or not this has or hasn't been said to me. But I will tell you that it was said to a close friend of mine after her divorce. I know, it's almost unbelievable that people have the gall to say such a thing to a recently separated person. (And that's coming from me, one of the most blunt people I know.)

First of all, even if you HAVE PROOF that the person's ex is gay-it's not your business. Second of all, the times that I've heard this was said (and there have been many), there was no way to back-up the claim. It's rude. End of story.

And if somebody said that about MY ex, I'd drop kick them in the face.

{disclaimer: I don't have a problem with gay people, at all. I just think it's a little overly ridiculous to call somebody gay just because they left their wife.}

When somebody passes away:

Now, this is a more serious topic, and I don't take it lightly at all. I've never had somebody close to me pass away, and I feel heartbroken for those who do. My friend, who had a close friend die in an accident, and I were talking about a saying we hate, and that is:

"It was their time to go."

I understand that this could help some people feel comforted. But to paraphrase my friend, that means that we have a God up in Heaven, who stands there every day, and says, "I want him, her, and him today." I can see how that would make somebody be angry at God for the passing of a loved one, and give Him the blame.
I firmly believe that God does have a plan for us, and that He wants us to come and live with Him again. But I also believe that we have free agency, that others choices effect us.

When somebody passes away in an accident, or by taking their own life, I don't know that I would find comfort in hearing that it was just their time to go. But that's just my perspective.

Ok, moving on.

When somebody has gained weight:


"You should start going to the gym."

I don't care how sweetly you say it, how much sugar you coat it with-to somebody that's gained weight and is feeling very aware of that weight gain, THAT'S JUST A SLAP IN THE FACE.

You might as well say, "I noticed you're fat, you gonna do something about that?"

Ouch. (I'll just straight up say I'm speaking from experience on this one.)

Well, I think that about wraps up this episode of What Not To Say.

If you have anything to add to the list, I'm sure we'd all love to hear it. :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Oregon in pictures

Oregon was amazing. The weather was gorgeous-it didn't rain once. I spent a large part of the weekend (that wasn't spend doing wedding things)in a Words With Friends battle with Taylor's cousin Gage-turns out we are both allergic to Oregon.

It was so nice to get away and spend time with new friends and some people that I consider family. So without further ado, here is my trip in pictures:

(keep in mind, I am not a photographer, nor do I claim to be.)

{my new red hair}

{Portland temple}

{Enough said.}

{Me and Tay}

{VooDoo Dougnuts. Heaven}

{With Taylor's sister, Kate, at the wedding}

{Nicole and Taylor}

{Sparklers with Max-in person he looks exactly like Josh Groban}

{Rehearsal dinner with Gage}

{Home with my girls}


In case you didn't know, Oregon is a very different place than Arizona..Let's just say I've never seen more Toms, beanies, signs to "Be Green", hippies, or homeless people making out in my life.

I made a lot of jokes about Portlandians..and refused to shower so that I could fit in and conserve water and energy. But it was all in good fun. I loved every second.

Anybody know other places I need to see next time I'm in Oregon??