Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Beehive State

 A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I was the happiest I'd ever been.

Ok. It wasn't that long ago, just 3 years. And it wasn't quite a galaxy far away, although Provo, UT seems a little...out of this world, to some.


I was living what felt like the life. I had my dream car, played all day and night, and made life long best friends.


Eventually though, after running out of money, and failing to find a steady job, my parents told me to come on home. 

I hated it. I cried every day, and vowed that I would make no friends, date nobody, and just save all of my money to go back. (I'm not dramatic at all. Ha.)

But then I met someone-and we got married. And this light clicked in my head that THIS was the reason things didn't work out in Utah-because Heavenly Father knew my spouse was here, and this was where I needed to be. 

And ever since the day that my marriage ended, all I've wanted is to go back. Maybe I'm romanticizing it. Maybe it's really not all that it's cracked up to be.

Sometimes I think rationally, and realize that I have it great here-my social life has exploded, I live near my family, and I don't want to miss my niece growing up, or Kelsey and Heather graduating from high school. But a huge part of me has realized what a small town Mesa is-and it feels even smaller when you're divorced. Everybody knows everybody somehow, and sometimes a fresh start sounds like a dream come true.

So why don't I just go, you ask? Well. There's the lack of job in Utah (*cough somebodyfindmeone cough*), the lack of money now, and the reality that I have nothing there but a few idealized memories with friends who have moved on with their lives. 

But sometimes, or way too frequently in my case, it's OK to reminisce, and wish you had a time machine. So I'll do just that today. And probably tomorrow too.

3 comments:

  1. I miss you Heidi! Thanks for hanging out with me the last couple weeks. I hope you get the chance to get back to UT someday, in the meantime I hope life is good for you in Mesa! Love you!

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  2. It's only Utah, I could give you a list of reasons why NOT too move back.
    You can reminisce,it's alright every once and a while :)

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