Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Arizona-->Utah

Let me tell you a little story.

There once was a blogger named Kenz (Interiors by Kenz), and a non-blogger named Heidi. They became fast internet friends. Some might say internet soul mates. Kenz invited Heidi to a rendezvous in Disneyland for a day. Happiness ensued, deep friendships were formed. The magic of Disneyland does amazing things.
After hearing that Heidi had thought about moving to Utah for years (but was constantly making excuses not to), Kenz graciously invited her to move into their home in West Jordan, UT. She even went so far as to book Heidi a job interview. The job was offered, and then quickly accepted, and in a 12 day span, Heidi quit her job, packed up her little Honda, drove for 11 hours straight by herself for the first time, and drastically altered her life. 

Cool story, huh? That brings us to now. I've been living in Utah for two weeks tomorrow. I wish I could say it was easy. In some ways, the transition was flawless. I immediately stepped into a new job at an excellent company that treats me well. Mekenzie and her husband have so kindly taken me under their wings, introduced me to their friends, and taken every step possible to ensure that I'm comfortable here. In a lot of ways, I am comfortable here. 

Yet in a lot of ways, I'm also uncomfortable here. I'm scared to make friends. I haven't ever had a problem making friends, but I feel so incredibly out of my element. I miss my family. I miss Kelsey and Heather. I want to cry thinking about the Backstreet Boys concert I have tickets to and am missing. Judge me all you want guys, but it's the BACKSTREET BOYS. I don't know what I'm doing here. I guess I'm doing the same thing I was in Arizona. Working. Living. I guess no matter where I live, I should probably develop some goals to help me feel as if I have some purpose.

My new friend Karl said something that has really stuck with me. He said, "You would not have come out here if you were really happy with where you were at." He's right. In hindsight, it's easy to romanticize the life I was living in Arizona, but I wasn't any happier than I am here. Maybe location can't change my happiness, but I need to remember that with this fresh start I'm taking, I have a huge opportunity to grow and find happiness in myself.

 I don't know why I moved to Utah. I don't know if there's a reason, or if I'll hate it and move back in 6 months. All I know, I guess, is that I need to pick myself up and take control of my happiness and future, and stop waiting for it to come to me. What better way than starting over somewhere new? 

Wish me luck. Or don't. I don't want to tell you what to do.